


Love Bites

by nostalgicvamp



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt carmilla, Sad Carmilla, Slow Burn, bitch it hurt, im sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-05-29 14:37:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19402342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nostalgicvamp/pseuds/nostalgicvamp
Summary: “And what is this good news then? It must be pretty big to force me to be awake before noon.” Carmilla looked up at Laura who was nervously buzzing with excitement.“Ah, yes. The news. The big news.” Laura was practically buzzing in her seat now.“Okay, so. I don’t know why I’m so nervous. You’re my best friend and I wanted you to be the first to know. At least face to face. And, wow. I just can’t believe it’s real and I’m just so happy I-”“Jeez Cupcake, I’m going to be 40 by the time you finally decide to tell me what’s going on here.” Frantically, Laura took her hands from under her table, shoving her left into Carmilla’s direct line of sight. Wait a minute. Is that a-“Danny proposed last night and now we’re engaged!” Laura’s face broke out into the biggest smile that Carmilla had ever seen. And at the same time, Carmilla’s heart was crushed under its brilliance.https://open.spotify.com/playlist/02m2jiqZ2s64Jea03kxLE3?si=xnf43jawRtGRPPm8amye6Q -- Work Playlist





	1. Chapter 1

**Creampuff:** I know you already said you would come, but I wanted to triple-double check that you’ll meet me for coffee??

 **Creampuff:** It’s super super important!!!

 **Creampuff:** I need to talk to you!

 **Creampuff:** It’s nothing bad I promise :)))

Groaning, Carmilla pulled her head up in the direction of her phone on the bedside table. After an absurd number of vibrations and text tones, she decided she might as well check to see if someone was dying. For, that would be the only logical reason she would allow herself to get up at such an ungodly hour. Unfortunately, her initial thoughts were buried after reading the numerous rambles of one Laura Hollis.

 **Carm:** You know as much as I love your reminders to the coffee date we planned-which by the way- I did confirm about five times. Some of us do like to have their beauty sleep.

 **Cupcake:** I just wanted to make sure… Plus it’s only 9!

 **Carm:** And what an ungodly hour it is. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go back to sleep now.

Even through the annoyance, Carmilla couldn’t help but smile at Laura’s incredible dorkiness for organization and planning. She was always on top of everything; schedules, assignments, dates, meetings. She always needed to have everything under control. That’s probably why Carmilla wasn’t particularly fond of her in the beginning.

* * *

_“Hi!” Carmilla raised her eyes from her Kierkegaard book and rested on a tiny honey-blonde who had a smiles-in Carmilla’s opinion- that was way to big for someone with such a tiny stature._

_“Um, yes?” Carmilla raised an eyebrow._

_“You must be Carmilla, I’m Laura. You’re roommate.” Laura held out a hand towards the brunette. Carmilla looked at her hand and then back at Laura’s face._

_“Thrilling.” The brunette turned her attention back onto her book, paying no mind the frown that now adorned her new roommate’s face._

_“Okay then… Um, well, I brought cupcakes to uh- well, you know, celebrate? Starting college and what not, meeting new people. I mean, I love cupcakes and I saw so I figured that I might as well-” Carmilla raised her eyebrows as she took a sideways glance at the girl. Laura’s eyes were now trained on her hands which were nervously fiddling with one another. And yet, somehow the girl was still rambling on about sweets or another when Carmilla tuned back into her roommates speech. “Slow down there, cutie or you might get an aneurysm. Now, as much as I’m thrilled to have a physical representation of a sugar rush as a roommate. I am in the middle of something far more interesting than these stimulating introductions.” Laura looked at her wide a blank expression as she opened and closed her mouth trying to come up with something else to say._

_“You- I-”_

_“Way to articulate words there, sweetheart. Are you sure you’re in college?” Carmilla smirked and turned the page._

_“You… you can’t just say those things!” Laura gasped, still quite flustered._

_“And why not?”_

_“Be- because, I’m your roommate and, and I live here. So shouldn’t we, I don’t know, maybe try to get along or, or be civil?” Carmilla sighed and placed her book down on her lap. She looked up to see Laura standing there with her hands on her hips, eyebrows furrowed, eyes set into a hard glare._

_“Listen, Cupcake, the less you know about me or talk to me, the better alright? And just because I’m feeling, oh so generous today, I too will not care about anything you do, nor talk to you. Okay? Okay.” Laura fiercely turned around and started moving clothes out of her suitcase, while muttering quite loudly._

_“This, this is unbelievable! I’ve been here for five minutes, and I-. I can’t. You are unbelievable!” Laura shouted and pointed at Carmilla._

_“Man Cupcake, I usually only here that after I’ve been in bed with a girl.” The brunette smirked. Laura’s face grew bright red, as she bunched up her face in frustration. She turned around hastily to continue working on putting her belongings away. Picking up her book to continue where she left off, Carmilla smirked at how easily she made the smaller girl come undone. She could practically hear the gears grinding in her head as hot steam blew out of her ears. Then, without looking up from her book Carmilla commented,_

_“Oh and by the way, that bunched up little face you make when you’re made is hilarious buttercup.”_

* * *

Stepping into the coffee shop, Carmilla senses were overloaded with smells and the distinct chatter of smalltalk. Quickly scanning the tables she spotted the small blonde tucked away in their regular corner seat. Laura had her eyes on her fiddling hands, mumbling to herself and therefore not spotting the brunette at the entrance. Strutting over to the table, Carmilla took note of an extra coffee waiting for her as well as a half eaten cookie she knows Laura tried to save.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t my favourite sugar addict. I see we went with a small sugar infused coffee instead of a large today.” Carmilla pulled out her chair and sat down startling the younger blonde.

“Carm! You’re here, I didn’t even see you come in.” Laura’s smile grew, but her hands quickly went from holding her cup to hiding beneath the table.

“You seemed pretty preoccupied with talking to yourself there, you alright?” Carmilla glanced to Laura’s hidden hands, but shook off her curiosity by taking a sip from her own coffee.

“Also, this cup of coffee makes what? The fourth one I need to pay back for?” Carm took another sip and raised an eyebrow.

“It’s no problem Carm, really. I don’t mind.”

“You might not, but I do Cupcake. I was even planning on buying you a cup but you seemed to have beaten me to it.”

“Uh-huh, sure, the day you get here early enough and actually buy a coffee for me is the day I run through the park in my underwear.” Laura deadpanned.

“Oh, and what a day that’ll make.” Carmilla smirked and took another sip. “But I do promise I’ll pay you back. Will actually found a guy that wants to buy some work. Hopefully, if everything goes right I’ll have some extra cash at the end of the week.” Carm looked down shyly at her cup and started fiddling with the cardboard cover.

“Carm! That’s amazing, I’m so proud of you. Jeez, and I thought I had good news.” Carmilla blushed at Laura’s comment. _Proud of you. Proud of you._ It’s not like Carmilla really cared about anyone’s opinion. A little ironic because she’s a painter and painters thrive on people liking their work. But to Carmilla, Laura’s comments always hit home the most. Getting out of her head, Carmilla processed the rest of the blonde’s words.

“And what is this good news then? It must be pretty big to force me to be awake before noon.” Carmilla looked up at Laura who was nervously buzzing with excitement.

“Ah, yes. The news. The _big_ news.” Laura was practically buzzing in her seat now.

“Okay, so. I don’t know why I’m so nervous. You’re my best friend and I wanted you to be the first to know. At least face to face. And, wow. I just can’t believe it’s real and I’m just so happy I-”

“Jeez Cupcake, I’m going to be 40 by the time you finally decide to tell me what’s going on here.” Frantically, Laura took her hands from under her table, shoving her left into Carmilla’s direct line of sight. _Wait a minute. Is that a-_

“Danny proposed last night and now we’re engaged!” Laura’s face broke out into the biggest smile that Carmilla had ever seen. And at the same time, Carmilla’s heart was crushed under its brilliance.


	2. Chapter 2

The first and only time Carmilla has let her heart get crushed happened at the end of their college years. Elle, whom Carmilla believed to be the best thing to happen to her since Laura, ended up being a real shit-ticket. Turns out she was seeing anyone else she could on the side all while hoping to get some of Carm’s inheritance on the side. Needless to say, the realization was Carmilla’s biggest hits to her heart and since she has kept herself clean free of anyone else. Anyone except for Laura, that it. So, of course it would only be logical that Laura would ultimately be her undoing.

“Carm? Did you hear me?” Laura reached for the brunette’s hands across the table, looking curiously into up into her eyes.

“I- uh. H-How did it happen?” Carmilla swallowed down her emotions trying to layer them under fake happiness for her best friend.

“Well, Danny knew I’ve been a little stressed out at work recently so she made reservations at this cute little Italian place. And after that we took a small walk in the park and she just did it. It was so perfect Carm. She was so sweet and I totally wasn’t expecting anything. Which is so weird, because you know me always investigating anything remotely fishy and-”

Laura’s rambling slowly died out in Carmilla’s ears, replacing with the low hum of buzzing. She should have seen this coming. She really should have. Laura and Danny had been dancing around each other ever since college. If anything Carmilla pushed them closer together by being labeled ‘the worst roommate in the universe’. Carmilla could feel that she was spiraling, her body was tensing, she could feel the sweet form on her hairline, everything is blending together. She needs to get out.  _ Air _ . She needs air.

“You know what Laura,” Carmilla quickly pulled her hands to herself and stood abruptly, “I hate to do this but it completely slipped my mind. But, I actually have a meeting with this guy who wants to see some work.” Laura looked up at her retreating figure and a small crinkle formed between her eyebrows.

“U-um, okay? But Carm-”

“I am so… happy that you’re happy Laura. But I’m really running late.” And with that crack of her voice, Carmilla was already out of the coffee shop and down the street. With each step Carmilla took, the more she felt her heart crack. She kept her head low and pushed through the crowd, not caring of bumping into strangers and definitely not caring how utterly crazy she probably looks at the moment. Flashes of the ring kept playing in her mind followed by Laura’s excited gaze. What is probably one of the happiest days of Laura’s life could now easily be labeled as Carmilla’s worst. _ Engaged. Engaged. Smile. Be Happy. She’s your best friend dammit. Your best friend that you’re in fucking love with. Fuck. _

Feeling the tears well into her eyes, Carmilla quickly diverted into an alley pressing her back against the hard stone. Closing her eyes tight, she forced her emotions back down as far as she could manage.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck” Carmilla slammed her fists into the brick in time with her speech. She doesn’t know how to do this. Doesn’t know how to actually deal with her feelings. Her ‘dealing’ with her feelings when it came to Laura had been to simply ignore it. It’ll go away she told herself. It’ll go away. Soon those simple words became begging until she realized that there is no getting away from the sunshine that is Laura Hollis. So she learned to push it down, pretend it wasn’t there, learned to live with her dirty secret. But now, everything was coming back up to the surface. And she doesn’t know how to deal with it. She doesn’t know if she can.

“Get it together, Karnstein.” She spoke through gritted teeth. Hastily wiping her damp eyes she quickly took out her phone and opened messages.

**To Laf:** **_I’m coming over._ **

Closing her phone, she shoved it back into her pocket and rushed back into the street. Keeping her head down, she let her body move on autopilot- turning down different streets and crossing through different alleys. Finally she found herself standing in front of an apartment door. The apartment door whom inside held the very few people that knew of Carmilla’s little, well  _ big _ , predicament.

“Carmilla. I got your text, are you-” The brunette quickly rushed through the door making her way inside. She sat down on the couch putting her head in her hands.

“Fuck!” She stomped hard as she felt a few tears escape.

“Lafontaine? What’s going on?” Perry rounded the corner from the kitchen and stopped dead in her tracks.

“We’re okay Perr, just… Uhm, give us a moment.” Lafontaine closed the door and made their way to the curly redhead. The scientist whispered a few sentences into her ear. Understanding grew upon her face.

“Oh… Carmilla I’m-” Perry’s words died in her throat. “You know what? I’m going to make some brownies.” Quickly fleeing from the uncomfortable tension in the room, she made her way to the kitchen. A sob was stuck in Carmilla’s throat because here she was, pathetically almost sobbing while Betty Homemaker was making her brownies. Fucking I’m sorry the person you love is getting married to someone else brownies.

“I guess it would be an obvious assumption that you know about… You know, her.” Lafontaine awkwardly sat opposite of Carmilla.

“You can say her name, Laf. Laura. Laura is getting married and I’m here half sobbing in your living room.” The brunette snarled out and looked up at them through her bangs. “And I, I don’t know what to do Laf.” She sighed and dropped her head in her hands.

“I really wish I had some wisdom to give you or even a biometric device that could take all of this away, Carmilla. But I can’t. I know this is beyond difficult for you and-. Carmilla I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry, Perry’s sorry, I’m sorry. Fucking sorry I’m sitting here like an idiot when I should be happy for my best friend.” Carmilla looked back up into Laf’s pitiful eyes, “My best friend Laf. I should be happy? Why can’t I just be happy for her?” The brunette groaned out and laid fully back on the sofa.

“Just… Give it time Carmilla? Let yourself process everything. It’ll take some time, but

give yourself that. Just take some time.” Sighing loudly, Carmilla brushed her arm across her eyes again.

“I don’t think time is my problem here.” She mumbled out and let her heavy lids fall closed.

When Carmilla opened her eyes again, she knew it was much later than when she originally arrived. She could feel the after effects of sleep still lay heavy on her bones. Groaning Carmilla rolled over on the couch pushing her face farther into the pillows. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket, but she couldn’t bring herself to care at all. But unfortunately the universe was very much not on her side today and therefore her phone continued to buzz, and continued, and continued. Finally conceding, she rolled back over and pulled her phone out.

**_2 missed calls from Creampuff - 5 unread messages from Creampuff._ **

Sitting up, Carmilla contemplated opening her phone and reading the messages. She knew it was pointless and that she wouldn’t respond. Instead she threw her phone on silent placing it on the coffee table.

“I see you’re finally awake. How do you feel?” Laf walked out of the kitchen eating half of a brownie.

“Like shit.” She groaned out.

“Well, Perry has some brownies on the counter if that’s any consolation.” Laf gestured behind them.

“Where is Ginger 2? I'm surprised she isn't trying to vacuum around me again” Carmilla stretched her body, slowly standing up.

"Perry went to the store. She figured you'd be staying for dinner so she went to get some extra groceries."

"I appreciate the sentiment but I think there's a glass of whiskey at home labeled dinner for tonight." 

"Carmilla Karnstein passing up free food? I thought I'd never see the day." Laf joked.

"I'll think about it.  _ But  _ , if you happen to have anything here to drink it may sweeten the deal." Carmilla raised her eyebrows.

“I think that can be easily arranged but I should probably warn you… She…  _ Laura  _ called me. A few times actually, asking about you. I told her I hadn’t seen you of course but I wouldn’t be surprised if she dropped by here at some point.” Laf stated hesitantly. Just at her name, Carmilla felt her heart squeeze.

“Thanks for covering, Laf. Really. But on that note, I think I may actually go home now. Nothing says congrats your best friend who you love is getting married than a nice bottle of whiskey.” Carmilla started moving towards the door, but stopped short in front of it, looking back at Lafontaine.

“I don’t mind Carmilla, really. I’ll always have your back, doors always open.” Carmilla opened her mouth to speak but was cut short by the sound of fast loud knocking on the door.

“Oh shit, I think that’s” Laf started to say but a voice also started to talk through the door.

“Lafontaine? Open up please? I know you said you hadn’t seen her but… Laf just open up.” Laura’s voice echoed through the door, stopping Carmilla’s heart to a non-existent beat. Carmilla quickly backed away from the door and looked at Laf pleading.

“Laf, I can’t.” Carmilla kept backing up and shaking her head.

“Just… Hide in the extra bedroom, I’ll talk to her.” Laf whispered back and approached the door. Without saying another word Carmilla silently made her way through the hallway and into the bedroom shutting the door. Just as she sat on the edge of the bed, she could hear Laf open the door.

“Hey, Frosh. What’s up?” Laf’s voice was muffled through the door.

“Can I come in?” Laura pleaded.

“Uh- yeah but um, Perry just cleaned so um, you know. Be clean I guess.” Carmilla scoffed at Laf’s poor attempt at an excuse to try and get Laura out as quickly as possible. Rolling her eyes, she lay back on the bed - she was going to be here for a while.

“Okay so I know you said you hadn’t seen her or heard from her, but be honest with me Laf. I know she comes to you when she can’t come to me and she hasn’t been answering any of my messages. She seemed really weird when she left this morning and I’m a little worried.” Carmilla could practically see Laura pacing back and forth and even her hands gesturing.

“Like I said before, I haven’t heard from her. But I promise, Laur, if I do I’ll let you know. I’m sure she’s just off being her broody self again. Painting and wandering the city.”

“Maybe I’m overreacting.” Laura sat down on the couch and ran her fingers through her hair.

“Your her best friend, you’re allowed to worry.” Laura got back up from the couch and moved towards the door.

“I know just, you promise to let me know when you hear from her?” Laura bit her lip and put her hand on the door.

“Of course.”

“Thank you. I should get going though, Danny is expecting me. I’ll see you later Laf.” And with that, Laura was out the door and Laf breathed a sigh of relief. Laf rushed back to the bedroom door.

“Carmilla? She’s gone.” Laf knocked softly on the door and waited for an answer. After a few minutes they knocked again.

“Carmilla?”

On the other side of the door Carmilla was staring blankly at the ceiling, silent tears staining her face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently making a playlist to go along with this. Music helps me write better. Currently in the process of removing and adding songs.
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/02m2jiqZ2s64Jea03kxLE3?si=oEAWtmAjT121nHQKZJUz7Q

Carmilla isn’t exactly sure how long she’s been hold up in her apartment; or, specifically, how long she’s been in her work room. If it wasn’t for the text from JP asking her to come in early to work tomorrow, she wouldn’t even know what day it is. 

The near miss at Laf and Perry’s house shook her up more than she’d like to show. And, after willingly eating dinner in a very awkward silence, she made sure to leave in one piece. Once she actually made it to her apartment, the first thing she went in search for was a distraction. Said distraction came in the shape of one bottle of her finest cheap booze along with a change into her paint clothes. Once the door to her workroom was closes, the cap came off and well… the hours - potentially days- really blended together. 

Carmilla lost herself in her work like she normally does. Because for her, nothing says self medication like a bottle of whiskey and a blank canvas to get lost in. She had already covered her larger canvas that she was saving for a burst of inspiration. Now, the once empty slate of white was doused in shades of reds, purples, and blues. The colors mixed together in all different conjoining points - from afar it was simply a blend of colors with no rhyme or reason. But maybe that was the whole point all along. Because at this point in time, Carmilla is there is no rhyme or reason in her universe. All the universe has ever done if fucked her over, but this time she isn’t sure she can recover.

* * *

_ *knock knock* _

_ “Hey Elle? I know I said I was going to pick you up at 8, but I thought that maybe-” Stopping in her tracks, with her girlfriend’s door half open, Carmilla couldn’t comprehend what she was seeing. There, completely naked, was her girlfriend of a year and a few months, fucking some frat jockey. _

_ “Carmilla! Shit, I can explain…” Elle frantically covered herself up with her covers.  _

_ “I thought you said-” The man child started to sit up, unsure of what exactly he had gotten himself into. Moving around the room, Elle started gathering her clothes as well as throwing the guy’s clothes towards him. _

_ “Elle?” Carmilla’s voice didn’t sound like hers. It sounded far off, like she wasn’t really there. Was this what an out of body experience is? _

_ Scratch that. This wasn’t out of body. She was definitely where her body was, because she could feel every muscle tense with rage- hands shaking with devastation.  _

_ “Carmilla.., maybe wait outside while-” _

_ “No.” Carmilla growled out and pointed at the frat boy. “You, get the fuck out.” _

_ “But I don’t even have my pants yet” HE stood up quickly with the sheet wrapped around his waist. _

_ “I don’t. Fucking. Care. Now, get out before that’s the only thing missing.” Carmilla threatened him. Scurrying out of the room, he fled from the nuclear bomb that was this situation. _

_ “You didn’t have to be so rude, baby.” _

_ “Don’t call me that. Don’t even. Fuck!” Carmilla kicked the dresser, breathing heavily. _

_ “Just give me a chance to-” _

_ “What in the frilly hell makes you think I would give you a chance after what I just witnessed, Elle? You were fucking cheating on me. Cheating!” _

_ “It was just some fun, babe.” _

_ “Stop fucking calling me stupid little pet names! And fun? How much fun have you been having lately, huh?” Carmilla was pacing now, eyes on the floor. She couldn’t even bring herself to look up at the woman she thought loved her.  _

_ “It doesn’t matter really…” Elle trailed off, her voice void of any kind of remorse or guilt. She sounded more annoyed at the whole situation - probably because she just couldn’t believe he was caught. _

_ “God, I am such an idiot.” Carmilla closed her eyes and put her head in her hands. Elle, now dressed in loose sweats slowly approached the dark brunette. Tentatively putting her hands on Carmilla’s arms, she smoothly rubbed her hands down her shoulders. _

_ “How bout, we just forget and you can-” Quickly breaking away from her grasp, Carmilla put distance between her and Elle. _

_ “Stop! Just fucking stop! Stop trying to explain. Stop telling me what to do.” Carmilla finally looked up at Elle, and felt her heart shattered. She couldn’t even recognize the girl she thought she loved once. Was this why she didn’t want to go out anymore? Why she was always so busy? _

_ “This has been going on for awhile now, hasn’t it?” Carmilla’s voice cracked just a little as she took another tiny step backwards towards the door. “It’s why you don’t want to hang out, why you’re always busy.” _

_ “I, I don’t know what you want me to say Carmilla…” Elle crossed her arms and looked into Carmilla’s eyes hard. _

_ “I don’t want to hear anything from you. I’m done. I’m done waiting for you, begging you to hang out. I’m done with the lies, the bullshit, everything. I’m putting all your shit in a box and I’ll leave it outside your door. Do not come by, do not text me, do not call me. I never want to see you again.” Carmilla clenched her fists and looked through the girl standing in front of her.  _

_ “Carmilla, I really think you’re overreacting here…” Elle tried to take a step closer, but Carmilla backed up at the same time. _

_ “Stop telling how I feel or what I’m doing wrong! Stop trying to make me sound crazy or in the wrong. This is your fault and your fault alone.” Carmilla pointed at her with a shaky hand before running her fingers through her hair. “Laura was right… you do manipulate me…” Carmilla half whispered to herself, but Elle heard every word and scoffed. Furrowing her eyebrows, Carmilla looked back up. _

_ “It’s always about Laura with you, Carmilla. Jesus! You know what? I am so fucking tired hearing about Laura.” Elle shouted at her. _

_ “What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you really trying to change the subject about how you cheated and turn it on my best friend?” Carmilla scoffed, “You’re unbelievable.” _

_ “Oh, I think she’s a little more than you friend Carmilla. You’re practically in love with the nerd.” _

_ “Oh fuck off, Elle. She’s my friend and guess what? You don’t have to listen to me talk about her anymore because we’re fucking done. Stop trying to pin it on me or Laura, and stop trying to guilt trip me. She was right to call you manipulative because that’s who you are, a manipulative bitch. Have a nice life fucking your way through the Frat Houses!” Carmilla turned on her hell and slammed the door shut, not stopping and not giving a flying fuck about anything behind her.  _

_ She quickly crossed the campus, eyes low and heart barely beating. All she wanted was to curl up in a ball and ignore the outside world. Part of her dreaded having to face Laura and explain what happened while the other part wanted to scream that she was right about Elle and what a fucking moron she had been. Standing at their door, she took a shaky breath before entering- surprisingly the room was empty and Carmilla felt a small sense of relief. She doesn’t have to deal with anyone right now.  _

_ Overcome with sudden rage, Carmilla tore through her side of the room. She threw papers, knocked over books, and kicked anything in rage. By the end of her fit her side was completely trashed, parts leaking onto Laura's side. But Carmilla didn’t care, there was too much going on inside her head to even process what just occurred. But after the last hour of events finally seeped into her bones, absolute exhaustion reared it’s horrendous head onto the brunette.  _

_ Not even having the energy to even take off her boots, Carmilla collapsed on her bed. Staring at the ceiling and letting everything sink in, she let herself cry - an action she didn’t do often and definitely an action she let very few people see. Rolling over on her side, she turned to face the wall trying her best to make herself as small as possible. Maybe if she tried hard enough, she could just shrink up and disappear. _

_ Carmilla wasn’t sure how long she was there before the door opened and the sound of laughing filled her ears. _

_ “Uhhh… Laura?” Carmilla heard Danny tentatively say. Great, her day just keeps getting better and better. Elle is a cheater, she trashed the room, and now she has to deal with gigantor.  _

_ “What in Hogwarts!” Laura turned from the redhead and finally took a glance around the room. “Who would… Carm?” Laura finally spotted the brunette curled into a ball facing her side. She immediately knew something was up, she wasn’t even supposed to be here- she had a date with Elle. Something was definitely not right and she was going to get to the bottom of it.  _

_ “Uh, Danny… I’ll catch you later. Let me handle this. I think we need some time alone.” Laura softly ushered Danny back out of the door. _

_ “But Laura, she totally trashed the place. I know you want to see the good in everyone but, seriously? Come on, Laur” the redhead pleaded, she did really never like Carmilla. _

_ “Please Danny? I promise I’ll text you later.” Laura pleaded. Sighing, Danny put her hands up in surrender and walked out of the door. After closing the door, Laura turned and surveyed the room once more eye landing on the curled up form of her roommate. Earlier that day, Carmilla was her fine normally broody self - and if you knew her well enough, you would even say she was excited for her date tonight. Her date that she was supposed to be on at the moment Laura came back to the room- the blonde’s heart dropped a little.  _

_ Laura never really trusted Elle, even after Carmilla’s gushing comments. Something in that girl always triggered Laura’s journalistic instincts. Many times she tried to approach Carmilla on the subject, even when Laura witnessed her toxic behavior first hand- but Carmilla wanted none of it. And now, Laura’s heart ached at the thought that Carmilla finally got burned by Elle. And by the looks of it, it was nasty. _

_ “You were right.” Carmilla’s rough watery voice broke Laura out of her thoughts.  _

_ “Jesus Carm, you scared me… I didn’t think you were awake…” Laura trailed. _

_ “You were right.” Carmilla repeated herself, her voice breaking. Confusion but also dread grew upon Laura - she had a feeling she knew what was coming.  _

_ “I was right about what, Carm?” Laura took a step closer to the brunette. She wanted to reach out and place a hand on her, but she didn’t want to invade her space. _

_ “Elle… She-” Carmilla’s voice broke off into a choked sob. She closed her eyes and tried to force her emotions down, but they continued to climb up, scratching at her eyes, pulling at her throat. _

_ “Oh Carm..” Laura finally decided to get closer to Carmilla - sitting on her bed with her hand on her back. “I’m sorry.” She knew she shouldn’t push her too far and try to ask specifics. She’d get them eventually, but right now Carmilla just needed some form of comfort, even if it was comfort from a distance. She’d come around eventually, but right now she was just going to be there for her best friend.  _

_ “You were right, you were right, you were right…” Carmilla kept choking out, she couldn’t find any other words. Everything felt like too much and everything was rushing too fast in her head. All she knew was Laura was here, and she warned her but Carmilla didn’t listen. _

_ “It’s okay. Carm, it’s okay.” Laura softly rubbed her back trying to calm her down. “You don’t have to say anything, and you don’t have to tell me anything, okay? Right now, just… sleep yeah?” Laura looked at Carmilla’s fully clothed body and moved down to her feet, “Here, I’ll even take off your boots, yeah?” Laura’s movements were gentle and caring- part of it angered Carmilla. She didn’t deserve this kind of taking care of, Laura should be doing her ‘I told you so dance’ right about now. Anyone else would have, but of course Laura wouldn’t. Sweet, naive, Laura always trying to be her best for everyone.  _

_ And there, in that dorm room, with Laura whispering reassurances and being everything she needed in that moment - Carmilla, unknowingly, fell in love a little more with her best friend. _

* * *

With music blaring, Carmilla was deep in work trying to fix a specific corner that she felt had too much red. Getting frustrated, she finally just swiped her thumb through some blue and plastered it across the canvas. By now, her hands were stained red, purple, and blue - they looked as if they’ve been burned and bruised. It was a little ironic seeing that’s how Carmilla felt all over. Sighing she swiped her her hands down the front of her overalls before finding her paint rag. Stepping back from her heart, she attempted to clean her hands the best she could while looking at her art. 

**_*knock knock knock*_ **

Carmilla was pulled away from her inspection, when the loud knocking overcame her music. Sighing she turned off her music and threw her paint rag over her shoulder. Figuring, it was probably the take-out she ordered, she some cash from her bedroom before approaching the door.

**_*knock knock knock*_ **

“I’m coming, I’m coming! Jesus…” Carmilla sighed out harshly and their impatience. She opened the door, while counting her money again, “I swear to God, if you guys forgot the extra potstickers again, I’m-” Carmilla finally looked up. Her dark ones met honey brown. Her heart stopped beating.

“You’re not my take-out.” Was the first and only thing that came to Carmilla’s mind, and somehow it made its way out of her mouth. Laura chuckled a little at that, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“No, I’m not. But I do come bearing gifts.” Laura lifted up a bottle of wine in one hand, and a grocery bag of what Carmilla assumed was a collection of sweets in different forms in the other.

“Can I come in?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking next chapter either Laf and Carm backstory or.... Carm an family/ Mother back story glimpse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/02m2jiqZ2s64Jea03kxLE3?si=QNahXlCRSHaN7EdguZSOHw

“Can I come in?” Laura looked up into Carmilla’s eyes hopefully. The brunette swallowed hard. She’s such an idiot for not looking through the peephole - now she’s totally and utterly fucked. There was no getting away now.

“Y-yeah, of course.” Carmilla moved aside to let Laura come through the door. She was in the middle of the shit-storm now. Laura was going to interrogate the absolute fuck out of her now. A million different excuses ran through Carmilla’s brain as she watched Laura move her away around the kitchen. She nervously made her way to her table and waited for the inevitable lecture. 

Laura poured two hefty glasses of wine and pulled out chocolates along with her favorite brand of cookies. Walking over to Carmilla, she passed her a glass and sat down with her at the table. 

“Creampuff, whatever you want to say or have to say to me just do it. I can’t stand this awkward silence.” Carmilla sighed out, closing her eyes waiting for the blow.

“I’m not here to yell at you, Carm. The second day of radio silence, maybe. But… After the next two, I realized you only shut everyone off when something is really,  _ really _ bothering you. And, I just want to know what’s going on with you, Carm. Is it something I did? Because I’ve been racking my brain-”

“You didn’t do anything, Cupcake. It’s not you, okay? I swear. I’m just… dealing with some shit right now…” Carmilla trailed off, taking a large sip of wine. 

“Okay, well, if it’s not me. Then what? Did something happen at the bar…?” Laura attempted to press on.

“No…” Carmilla sighed.

“Does it have anything to do with your work? Did a buyer drop out or-”

“No” Carmilla repeated again, monotone.

“Okay… Is there a girl perhaps?” Laura treated on the question lightly. She could sense the nerves radiating off of Carmilla, but she had to get to the bottom of her problem. If didn’t at least tell her the source, then Laura knew Carmilla would only simmer in her frustration and spiral out of control.

“Laura, please… I just-” The words died in Carmilla’s throat. She knew she was trapped - she knew Laura wouldn’t give up that easily on trying to help her.

“Just what Carm!? You ignore me all weekend, because of whatever is bothering you but you can’t shut me out Carm! That’s never ended well in the past and it will not end well now.” Laura kept rambling on, but it was all drowned out in Carmilla’s ears. Anxiety filled her chest, as words fumbled on her tongue. She just had to say something, anything. Guilt ate away at her stomach from driving Laura into the half mess she was at the moment. Carmilla had to do something. 

“It’s my Mother!” Carmilla closed her eyes and shouted, interrupting the short blonde. Laura stopped talking, and looked at the brunette with sad eyes.

“What?” She said lightly.

“I-It’s my Mother. She, um, she has tried to reach out to me again. Though, reach out probably isn’t the most accurate description. More like… I don’t even know. Can we just, not talk about it.” It wasn’t  _ completely _ a lie. She did receive a letter marked from her Mother’s company a few weeks ago but threw it out before even debating on reading it. Carmilla swallowed hard and looked up at Laura, pleading with her eyes-pleading that this conversation needed to end here and now.

“Oh… Carm, I-” Carmilla braced herself for whatever pity Laura was about to throw her way. “We don’t have to talk about it. I’m sorry if I pushed you to much.” 

“I know you’re just trying to be helpful here, Cutie. But, what I’m dealing with, I have to figure it out on my own.” Carmilla sighed out, staring directly into Laura’s eyes. 

“I get that, Carmilla, I promise I do. Just, please don’t go MIA on me again, yeah? We’re supposed to be here for each other. You don’t have to tell me  _ all _ of your problems, but let me be here for you as long as you’re here for me. Deal?” Laura raised her glass, waiting for Carmilla to do the same. The brunette gave a small grin, her heart aching at just how hard she tries; but, Carmilla raised her glass nonetheless and made cheers with the blonde.

“Deal.” Laura grinned wide, pulling back to take another sip of wine. “Now, from the look of your paint clothes  _ someone _ doesn’t work tonight. And, lucky for them, I have this whole bottle of wine and two packages of cookies. So what do you say we take this to the couch and watch crappy movies and live in our own little world for a while?” 

Their own little world. Carmilla wished so bad that they could do that forever- that they could sit in her crappy apartment, watching crappy movies, and drink cheap booze, and just…  _ forget. _ But she knew that was so extremely unrealistic, but maybe she could just give herself the night. She could take this night and just live in her apartment with Laura and pretend everything outside that door didn’t exist. 

“I would like nothing more.”

* * *

_ “If there was an award for absolute worst roommate in the history of the planet, she would win. But then, she’s so awful, that she would take the stupid trophy and break it just for the fun of it. Because that’s what she does Perry! She just takes my things, leaves everything a mess, and does whatever she wants just for the fun of it! She’s so inconsiderate!” Laura was pacing back in forth- steam practically shooting from her ears (and possibly her nose of one was to really focus on her anger).  _

_ Perry, Laura, and Laf were all in her dorm room, wearingly listen to the blonde elaborate on all of her frustrations. Laura couldn’t take it anymore, she had tried to deal with it on her own, countless, countless times; but, she finally came to the realization she needed to tell someone. She hoped maybe in doing so she could get some real advice. Not that she doesn’t trust her Dad’s words of wisdom, but she could only listen to so many “Just give her the Hollis charm” until her brain short-circuits.  _

_ “Are you sure that you just haven’t really given her a chance yet, Laura? I mean it’s only been-”  _

_ “Three months. It’s been three months Perry and she is still as rude as the day I moved in.” _

_ “Well, maybe she just works different? Everyone process things in their own way so maybe-” _

_ “How is processing things in a different way allow for stealing my pillow? My pillow, Perry!” Laura yelled out in frustration with her hands in the air. Perry and Laf sat uneasy on the bed. Lafontaine would say that they were the closest thing to a friend that Carmilla had - they would even bet their microscope on it, even if Carmilla would never admit it out loud. Laf and Carmilla go back before their short time at Silas so far. Call it a happenstance or call it fate, whatever it was brought Laf into Carmilla’s life and that’s that.  _

_ Laf knew more about Carmilla than they would care to admit as well - good and bad. For Carmilla, it was the same for Laf. Regardless, they still lived their lives sometimes separate but sometimes not. At the end of the day, they both knew they could go to each other and that’s all that mattered.  _

_ So, sitting here and listening to Laura’s rant of the shit storm that Carmilla has created, sat uneasy in their stomach. They new all of this crap, Carmilla kept pulling were just tactics in protecting herself, shutting herself off from anyone new. Perry was right, it’s her way of processing even if it does make her an asshole.  _

_ “Maybe, just give her some more time Frosh. She, uh, clearly is the lone wolf type so… I don’t know, let her warm up to you?” Laf attempted to interject.  _

_ “Warm up to me? She wants nothing to do with me. The only thing she cares about is what food I bring back to the room or when I’m gone so she can ‘read in peace’ according to her.” Laura crossed her arms defensively.  _

_ “While, Carmilla might not be the best with social interactions…” Laf began. _

_ “That’s an understatement.” Laura snorted. _

_ “As I was saying… While Carmilla might not be the best with social interactions, it takes time for her to really warm up to people. Trust me, been there, done that. She grows on you… eventually.”  _

_ “You two must have gone through something extremely bonding because I honestly don’t get how you’re friends with her.” Laura started pacing again while moving her hands emphasizing her words. “She’s just so rude and infuriating-” _

_ “Um, Laura.” Perry tried to get her attention. _

_ “She only cares about herself, she’s a giant slob-” _

_ “Hey, Frosh. Take it easy.”  _

_ “Take it easy?” Laura scoffed, “She doesn’t take it easy on me. I’m positive she doesn’t take it easy on anyone. How does anyone put up with her? How do you put up with her Laf? How does her parents put up with her? Because to me, how could anyone stand to be around her!” Laura finally stopped moving and looked up at the two gingers, who for some reason looked beyond uncomfortable. “What?” _

_ “If you have something to say, Cupcake, you can say it to my face instead of gossiping behind my back like a middle schooler.” Carmilla’s voice cut through the tension of the room, sharp and cold. _

_ Laura quickly turned around and saw her roommate standing in the doorway with an unreadable expression gracing her features. Laura felt her face pale. If Carmilla just heard what she’s pretty sure she thinks that she heard, then her life is about to go from worse to total disaster.  _

_ “Carmilla… Um, I-” Laura choked on her own words. Carmilla glanced around the room, heart sinking as she saw Lafontaine sitting in on the ‘shit on Carmilla’ fest going on in her own room. She clenched her jaw and looked back over at a frightened Laura. _

_ “Burn in Hell, Hollis.” And with that, Carmilla turned away and slammed the door. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short little update because I wanted to get something out. I'm still setting up some background, but the next chapter will be all storyline. at least I'll try to make it that way.

On the couch in Carmilla’s apartment, both girls fell into light banter with a surrounding comfortable silence. They were about half way through  _ Legally Blonde _ , when Carmilla her mind drifting to the blonde that was slowly leaning on her. Breaking the silence and also the uneasy feeling that started to claw at Carmilla’s stomach, she opened to mouth to distract herself.

“Tell me why I agreed to this movie again?” She sighed out, eyes fluttering down to the girl next to her. 

“Because Carm… It’s a stellar movie about how women can be totally badasses and stuff.” Laura commented back.

“I don’t think drowning yourself in hot pink while dragging along a rat as a pet can be labeled as badass.” Carmilla sighed out teasingly.

“But that’s what the whole stereotype is. You have to look past everything else, because… underneath is a fully capable strong independent woman. Didn’t you like the part on how she got into Yale just because she decided she wanted to?” Laura looked up at Carmilla with her big brown eyes causing her to swallow hard. Carmilla needed to keep talking. Stay distracted. 

“She did it because of a boy.” Carmilla argued monotone, adding an eyebrow raise for good measure.

“Okay… but, she still did it. That takes a lot of work and dedication.” Laura put her head on Carmilla’s shoulder and turned back to the movie. 

“But, all of her dedication was for all the wrong reasons. Her goal in the end was her ex. Getting into Yale was only a side effect.” Carmilla stuttered out, heart pounding. She knew Laura never hesitated getting close during movies, and it always threw the brunette for a loop. It doesn’t matter if she’s prepared for it or not, having Laura this close to her always had her craving more. 

“Can you  _ please _ stop over analyzing everything and just watch the movie? Just drop the philosopher grumpy act for one night and enjoy not thinking so much.” Laura huffed out adjusting herself closer to the artist. Carmilla gave a painful smile down at the oblivious girl.

“Fine. But only because you asked  _ so _ nicely.” Carmilla drew her attention back to the movie. Taking a quick glance to her wine glass on the table, she took in the fact that it was still mostly full. The artist sighed in relief-she was going to need every last drop if she was going to get through the rest of the night. And, she would need even more to get through the next few months what she would deem her own personal hell leading up to Laura’s wedding. Carmilla has seen plenty of those- personal hells that is. She’s gone through too many in her short life time.

* * *

_ Hell. Carmilla learned from a young age exactly what that word entailed. Probably even far too young to know any hurt in general. But here she was 6 years old, a year of being an orphan under her belt, standing in front of what would become her home for the next 12 years. Home. The word was now foreign on her tongue.  _

_ The last shredded memories of home consists shadows of her real mom, tear streaked faces, sometimes sunny warm days, and sorry explanations too complicated for her to understand. The last full memory she remembers is sitting in the car, her mother coming to a stop on the side of the street.  _

_ “Sweetie, I need you to go and knock on the big door for me okay?” Her mother wiped a tear from her cheek. Why was Mama crying? _

_ “But why?”  _

_ “Because I said so, and you always do what adults tell you to do.” She said wobbly.  _

_ “But I’m not supposed to do things by myself.” _

_ “Right now, I give you permission to do it by yourself because I know you are fully capable. Now go knock.” Another wipe to the cheek. _

_ “Okay, but only if it makes you stop crying Mama.” Tiny hands opened the car door. Her Mother’s jaw tightened, eyes steeled.  _

_ A small knock, tires squealing, a sobbing child, and an empty road is all that’s left. Carmilla never really understood why she left, but she did. That was always the bottom line. Carmilla was left alone surrounded by other kids that were alone- with no reason and no purpose. Just left unwanted.  _

* * *

_ “Carmilla? Are you ready to see your new home?” Ms. Hunt smiled warmly. She was in charge of most of the kids. Helped around when she could. All she could do was her best, which was always more decent than the original parents.  _

_ Carmilla fiddled with her hands and stepped out of the car, her small backpack in tow. To a child, the house seemed like a castle-if one was to ask Carmilla about it now she would describe it as a dungeon.  _

_ Coming to a stop in front of the massive doors, the small brunette hid behind Ms. Hunt - nerves tingling at her skin. She could hear the door open, as she viewed a skirt and high heels through her human shield’s legs. Carmilla didn’t really pay attention to whatever they were saying, she simply followed when ushered inside.  _

_ “Carmilla, this is Lilita Morgan. She’s the one who’s adopted you.” Ms. Hunt bent down to the small child and ushered her forward to the new women. Even at 6 years old, Carmilla knew this would be the most imitating women she would ever have the chance at meeting. _

_ “Hello, Carmilla.” Lilita attempted a smile, but it looked all wrong and out of place. “You may call me Maman, but until you’re comfortable you may simply call me Ms. Morgan.” The tall women made no attempt at any contact, she simply kept their space. Carmilla was thankful for that. She looked around the room, uneasy under the woman’s stare.  _

_ “You may be happy to know, you do have siblings, they should be down any moment.”  _

_ The two older women continued to talk as Carmilla attempted to process her surroundings. From what she took in, this place seemed like the opposite of home. It was cold, and uninviting which only made Carmilla more uneasy. After more chatting, Carmilla heard the steps of more people and looked up to see two kids. One clearly older, the other probably around the same age. _

_ “Children, this is Carmilla, would you like to introduce yourselves?” _

_ The older one stepped forward and stuck out her hand, “My name is Matska, it’s very nice to meet you Carmilla.” Carmilla noticed she acted and sounded much older than what she appeared to be. Very adult like. Nevertheless, Carmilla still took her hand and shook it.  _

_ “And I’m Will!” The other kid was definitely more enthusiastic and childlike. Lilitia cleared her throat. “Uhm, I mean I’m William, and it’s also nice to meet you.” He said slowly, watching Lilita for approval. _

_ After a few more introductions and a little more conversation between the adults. Carmilla was finally left alone in her new home, standing right in front of her new Mother.  _

_ “Now, Carmilla. Like all homes, I have rules which I will go over during dinner. Dinner will be promptly at 7. Matska and William will show you to your room as well as the rest of the house. I must finish some work, but I shall see you again at 7- no later.” _

_ And with that, Carmilla was left slightly trembling with what she would soon learn will be her two closest things to family she would ever have- even if she didn’t know it yet.  _


	6. Chapter 6

When Carmilla finally woke up, she found herself on the couch alone, television off, and the remnants of last night gone. The table was pristine. The wine glasses, snacks, and any reminder of Laura being there was cleaned away.

“Cupcake?” She groaned and sat up, stretching her arms above her head. She wouldn’t be surprised if, in fact, Carmilla was slowly going crazy. But she would say she had enough sense to not have imagined last night’s events. Inspecting the clean empty table, she noticed a note. 

_ Carm, I had to leave because I’m meeting Danny for lunch and I knew you wouldn’t be fully awake or coherent until noon. I went ahead and cleaned everything up because I knew you wouldn’t. You really do need to learn some better cleaning habits. _

_ -Cupcake _

Carmilla sighed and looked around her empty apartment. Checking her phone, she saw that it was already noon meaning that Laura was probably laughing and chatting it up with her now fiancée. The world still set an uneasy feeling in the bottom of Carmilla’s stomach. She had to ignore it, she needed to suck it up- for Laura. If Laura was happy, even if it was with the giant oaf, Carmilla needed to accept that. All she really wants is for her to be happy, and if it’s at the cost of suffering then so be it. As long as Laura was happy, that was all that matters. 

Figuring she wasn’t going to be any productive until work, she stumbled into her room. Slowly laying back down on her bed, she stared at the ceiling - emotions swirling around her chest. Taking deep breaths, she closed her eyes willing herself into unemotional unconsciousness. 

* * *

“Hey Danny, I’m sorry I’m a little late. I got caught up at Carm’s.” Laura gave the redhead a peck on the cheek before coming around the table to sit. Distracted by the menu, she missed the small grimace the taller woman made at the name of the brunette.

“No problem, babe, you’re here now and that’s what matters.” Danny gently took one of Laura’s hands possessively and kissed it, rubbing slow circles with her thumb. 

“How’s your day been so far?” Laura smiled and looked up at her fiancée.

“Same old, same old. I only had one patient this morning, but I have a few more lined up after lunch. Mostly ACL injuries, nothing too serious.” Danny always knew she wanted to help people from a young age. With her love of sports, physical therapy was always on her radar-it always made the most sense for her. That’s part of the reason Laura fell for the tall redhead, her kind heart and the desire for helping people. Maybe it was all of the nerdy shows that Laura grew up on or the fairytale ending she always craved, but Laura always leaned towards girls with those heroic do-gooder qualities. 

“Well… if anyone can push them to get better it’s you.” Laura smiled proudly at Danny, heart swelling with love. Entering a comfortable silence, they became distracted by their food- only trading light banter back and forth. Danny tried to ignore Laura staying at Carmilla’s last night, but she couldn’t control the slight jealousy swirling in her chest. Feeling the burning question in the back of her mind, Danny couldn’t help but ask about Laura’s night with the brunette. 

“So… how was your night with McBroody Vampire?” Danny attempted at hiding the disdain in her voice, but thankfully for her, Laura was distracted by her meal to notice it.

“Danny,” Laura said warningly, “you know how I feel about your nicknames.” She raised her eyebrow.

“Oh come on, Laur, if she can get away with calling me the Ginger Giant, I can get away with a few of my own.” Danny sighed and tilted her head. Laura only continued looking at her with an expectant look, eyebrow still raised in a silent response. 

“Okay, fine. How was your night with  _ Carmilla _ ?” Danny finally gave in. She may have a good amount of height on her fiancée, but that didn’t make Laura any less terrifying when she gave her signature ‘oh really’ look.

“Thank you.” Laura smiled pleased with herself. “Last night was great. Carm said she’s just been dealing with crap from her mom again. She just needed a few days to clear her head. Her mom always messes with her, she just needed to get through it again.”

“Uh-huh.” Danny sighed out uninterested, but tried to make it sound as if she really cared about Carmilla. What she really wanted to know what they did. “But, what did you guys do? Anything exciting?”

“Not particularly, watched some movies, had some wine, fell asleep on the couch. Just your usual girls’ night.” Laura said off-handedly, but Danny’s ears perked up and her head shot up to look at the blonde.

“Wait. You both fell asleep on the couch?” Danny said, slight jealousy seeping into her voice.

“Well, yeah. It’s not like it’s the first time. We were in the middle of a movie and just fell asleep. What’s the matter with that” Laura furrowed her eyebrows and looked and Danny suspiciously. 

“Nothing! Nothing… Just, if you were tired I could’ve come and picked you up or something.” Danny ran her hand through her hair and sighed out. 

“Well, it’s not like I was at a stranger’s house Danny. It’s just Carmilla.” Danny snorted and shook her head.

“Just Carmilla.” Half whispered to herself. Danny wasn’t blind or stupid. She saw the way Carmilla always looked at Laura. Always with those sad puppy eyes that desperately shouted how stupidly in love she was with her. 

“Danny… I know you and Carmilla never really got along, but can you just try for me? She’s my best friend and I’m going to ask her to be my maid of honor and I need you to accept that.” Danny choked on her drink.

“I’m sorry,” Danny wiped her mouth, “you’re going to ask her to be your  _ maid of honor _ .”

“I know, I know, I don’t like that name and I’m trying to come up with something that suits Carmilla better, but until then -” Danny interrupted Laura’s ramble.

“I don’t care about the name, Laur. I’m just- Are you sure you want to ask  _ her _ ? She’s just… never seemed to be one to really be interested in this kind of stuff.” Danny phrased her wording carefully, not wanting to sound too hostile. But, the thought of Carmilla being even closer with Laura during the next few months ignited a worrying flame in the pit of her stomach.

“I know, but. She’s my best friend, Dan. There’s no one else I would even think to ask.” 

“If you’re sure…’ Danny trailed off, biting her tongue from saying anything she might regret later.

“100%. She may not like the whole idea of it at first, but she’ll come around. I know she will.” Laura stated confidently.

“Mhmm, with you asking, who is she to say no?” Danny put on a fake smile, and did her best to enjoy the rest of her lunch break with her fiancée - desperately ignoring the swirling distaste growing in her stomach. She’d come this far with Laura, surely Carmilla couldn’t mess it up for them now.

* * *

“Tell me again JP, why I had to come in early to do stock?” Carmilla huffed out, placing a large box of whiskey on the bartop.

“Because you’re the only one who does it right.” JP shot back, sitting at one end of the bar going through different paperwork. 

“So this is my reward for being a decent employee? More work?” 

“It would appear so. I’m going back into the office, if you need anything. I’m sure you’ll be done in no time.” JP smiled innocently, picked up his belongings and made his way to the back office. Running her hand through her hair, Carmilla released another long breath before cracking open the first few cases of liquor. While it was unpleasant extra work for her, she was getting a few extra dollars as well as a nice distraction from everything going on. Placing her music on shuffle, she let herself drown in the mundane work. Check numbers, stock. Get another box, stock. Count bottles, stock. 

Lost in her own rhythm, Carmilla was deep in thought when someone tapped her on the shoulder resulting in a broken bottle of Patron. Yanking out her headphones, she turned around angrily to the culprit.

“What the fuck, Will!” Carmilla pushed her brother back.

“Jesus Kitty. Sorry, but I’ve been calling your name for ages.” Will put his hands up in defense, looking down at the broken shards of glass.

“You couldn’t have waited  _ until _ I put down the bottle?” Carmilla sighed out, and made her way to the closet to get the broom and mop.

“I didn’t think you would drop it.” Will replied innocently.

“And I didn’t think anyone was here. You’re gonna pay for that by the way,” Carmilla called out from the closet, looking for a bucket for the glass, “It sure as hell not coming from my paycheck!”

“Fine, but only because you asked so nicely.” Will said sarcastically sweet, watching his sister come back armed to clean up the mess. “I’ll leave you to this then.” He quickly got out of the way to the other side of the bar where he took a seat.

“Did you just come here to watch me clean up  _ your _ messes or is there a particular reason your here before we’re open?” Carmilla shot a glance over at her brother while trying to get all of the larger pieces of glass in the bucket. Almost as if breaking out of a trance, Will slams his hands on the bar top.

“Of course! I have great news Kitty,” Will opens up his jacket to pull his wallet out. “ I found a potential buyer.” He waved a business card in front of Carmilla’s line of sight. “He’s a private collector and he would love to have a phone call with an undiscovered artist, you interested?” Will gave a big smile watching the dots connecting in his sister’s mind.

“Holy shit.” Dropping the broom, Carmilla reached over the bar, snatching the card out of his hand. “You’re serious?” 

Resting his head against his hand he watched his sister read over the card, “Dead.”

“Finally some good fucking news,” the brunette breathed out, “Thank you Will, I really needed this.” Moving to the other side of the bar, she bent down to place the card in her bag for safekeeping.

“Does this mean I don’t have to pay for that bottle?” Will asked hopefully.

“Nice try, Willy Boy, but you’re still paying for that bottle.” Carmilla shouted.

“It was worth a shot,” he grumbled out.

* * *

Carmilla was one more Sex on the Beach from screaming bloody murder and walking home. It’s not like she hated being a bartender. She did prefer the night hours, and she was damn good at making drinks, but the drunken college girls that tend to filter in drover her absolutely mad. She’d been through the same routine so much she could recount the top ten questions she gets almost every night.

“ _ Do you have something fruity?” _

_ “Can I have a vodka -cran or even better a Sex on the Beach?” _

_ “Not to be rude or anything, but does this place have like a hot guy bartender?” _

_ “If I wasn’t straight, I would totally ask you out or something” _

Smashing her head against the bar top five times would be less painful than this night. 

“Damn, Karnstein. If you weren’t on the clock I’d get you a drink.” Looking up slowly from her crisis, she registered Laf sitting at the bar with a crooked smirk. Carmilla only responded with a groan and put her head back down.

“That bad huh?” Laf questioned. And, taking the brunette's silence as an answer, Laf resigned to not pressing anymore. 

“Well, when you get out of your work crisis, can I get a glass of that gerst you guys got in last week?” They asked hopefully, trying to get Carmilla out of their stupor. Sighing loudly, Carmilla pick herself up and walked over to the tap. Turning around and placing the chilled glass in front of the scientist, Carmilla saw bright and flashy movement from the side of her eye. And then, a shrill voice pierced her exhausted ears.

“Hey, can I get-” Carmilla held her finger up, signaling for her to stop talking. Raising her head to look at the girl, Carmilla raised eyebrows.

“Let me guess. Sex on The Beach?” Her voice was monotone.

“Oh my god, that sounds so good! I was actually going to ask for vodka-cran but, like, I’ll totally have one of those!” She said enthusiastically.

“Fantastic.” Carmilla put on her best fake smile and went back to work making the drink from hell. Raising her arms to mix the drink, she made eye contact with Laf silently screaming for deliverance. Laf looked between and mouthed a simple sorry before taking a swig of their beer. Taking a deep breath, Carmilla quickly finished the drink placing it front of the girl.

“Thank you so much!” She said almost too sweetly before snagging the drink and going back to whatever drunken filled party going group she came from. 

“I’ll take one guess and say you’re night has been overflowing with… whatever that was.” Laf trailed off gesturing behind them. 

“Unfortunately.” Carmilla grumbled out and placed herself in front of her friend. “Usually, I would make the Beefcake deal with them, but he’s off tonight.” Busying herself with cleaning out cups in the sink, the bartender took a moment to glance around the bar top for any other drunk cases needing orders or refills. She might dislike people, but not the tips.

“Money is money though right? Even if it comes with ridiculously tight sparkly outfits?”

“Sure, but there’s only so many of one drink I can make before I actually go crazy.” 

“Well, at least I’m here now right?” Laf raised their glass, “Here’s to trying to stay sane in a room full of drunken crazies.” Carmilla chewed on her lip and debated on giving Laf a real reason to raise their glass. She didn’t want to jinx anything with this new potential buyer, but she was actually excited about something for the first time in a long time.

“Actually,” she started hesitantly,” how about raising a glass to a potential buyer…” trailing off waiting for the bombshell to process in the redhead’s mind.

“Wait, a buyer as in…?”

“A private art collector according to Will.” A large grin spread across the scientist’s face, and they put their glass down.

“Seriously!? That’s great Karnstein.”

“Yeah, well, Will seemed to really come through this time. Gave me the guy’s card and everything. Looks like I’ll call him tomorrow and set up a meeting.” Laf raised their glass again and gave the bartender a large smile. 

“Well here’s to you in hopes that you can sell some beautiful pieces of art.”

“You and me both.”

* * *

“C’mon Karnstein, you can do this.” Carmilla stared at the business card on her coffee table. She’d been burning a hole in the card with her eyes for over ten minutes now. Pushing herself up off the couch she began pacing. She shook her hands out in front of her and took a few deep breaths. 

“It’s just a phone call. Nothing final. You’re just setting up a meeting. Just pick up the phone and dial.” Carmilla attempted to sike herself up, but the gnawing anxiety continued to chew at her. The phone number was already typed into her phone - she’d checked it twice to make sure there were no mistakes, but she had yet to press call. She looked down at the table again and groaned loudly sitting down.

“That’s it Karnstein, stop being a little bitch and just,” grabbing her phone at the same time as sitting down, she accidentally hit the call button, “oh shit, shit, shit.” Quickly putting the phone up to her ear, she held her breath listening to the ringing.

“Vordenberg Private Collections, Theo Straka speaking, how may I help you?” The voice came through and Carmilla’s mouth went dry.

“Um, hi. Yes. This is Carmilla Karnstein. Will Luce, gave me this card and said that Mr. Vordenberg was possibly interested in… some, um, art?” Carmilla’s small ramble would have given Laura a run for her money. Sure, she’d sell art before but never to a  _ real _ buyer. A buyer who has a PA, and actual art worth money, and actual taste.

“Ah yes, Ms. Karnstein. Mr. Vordenberg is currently in a meeting with a gallery at the moment but I have his schedule here…” the phone cut off to a bit of rustling and Carmilla twiddled her thumbs nervously, “Aha! So, it looks like he is available next Thursday, the following Tuesday and Wednesday. Any of those work for you?”

“All of them actually. Just, uhm, one thing. When you say he’s available, do you mean available as in a phone call, or a showing of some sort?” 

“He is available as in, available for a studio showing. Will that be possible?”

“Of course, fully possible.” 

“Wonderful,” she heard scribbling on the other end,”I will put you down for next Thursday.”

“That’s um, that’s perfect. Is there a specific time maybe?” Carmilla asked and was met with a small amount of hesitation.

“Between you and I, Ms. Karnstein, I would be ready at any time. Mr. Vordenberg can be quite… spontaneous.”

“Oh, um. Okay then. I will be ready Thursday.”

Carmilla gave Vordenberg’s assistant the rest of her information before finalizing the details. After another two minutes, she found herself hanging up the phone and sitting in the silence of her apartment.

“Holy shit.” Carmilla breathed out. “Holy shit!” Carmilla sighed out and flopped against her couch and stared at the ceiling. “I might actually sell something. I might actually fucking sell something.” Closing her eyes, she pleaded to whatever spirit has been fucking with her during her entire time in existence. “Please, please, please if you give me anything decent in this life, just let this work out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to make these chapters longer, but the downside it'll take longer to update. But I hope it's worth it. In other news.... I'm starting a podcast so check it out. ----
> 
> https://www.podbean.com/eu/pb-agtjz-ba9ca6


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